The Journey 2008 Newsletters Archive

This year's theme is self-love

February 2008, Acknowledging Your Strengths

What if I tell you that I’m intelligent, creative, artistic, articulate, personable, kind, compassionate, intuitive, ethical, flexible and am skilled at problem solving, listening to others, cooking, computers and being under pressure. Does declaring this make me arrogant? It may depending on your point of view, however, I believe that it is knowing my strengths. I can also be bitchy, strong willed, overly focused and a perfectionist; believe it or not in the right situations and doses these characteristics can also be strengths.

There was a time in my life when all that I acknowledged and could see were skills and characteristics that I didn’t have. That was about wanting to be more, which means that at the time I saw myself as less than I believed I could be. I felt like a failure, not that there was actually anything wrong with me. I was just focused on the wrong things. I could see what I wasn’t or didn’t have; I didn’t look at what I was and did have going for me.

When I work with clients I see this a lot. It’s quite common for people to focus on what they want to be or achieve as opposed to who they are and what they have achieved. While there is always room for personal growth and development the problem with that is that everyone needs a solid foundation to grow on. That foundation is your existing strengths. You can’t build on what you don’t already have!

Imagine this scenario: Your stranded on a desert island you’ve been there for a day and you haven’t had anything to eat; you’re starving. You find a coconut tree. There are no coconuts on the ground around it. You shake the tree and nothing happens. You start looking around for things that you can pile on top of each other so you can get to the top of the tree. All you can find are lots and lots of rocks that fit in the palm of your hand. You get a substantial pile together and attempt to climb it. The rocks displace as you step on them and you’re no further ahead. If only there was someone else on the island who could climb on your shoulders, you’d be sure to get the coconuts. Nightfall is upon you and you’re exhausted and hungry. You decide to give up and get some sleep. You build a lean-to from palm leaves and branches and curl up for the night. In the morning your jarred from your sleep by the sound of the lean-to’s leaves rustling, within seconds it collapses on you. You throw the leaves and branches off you and look up – it’s Gilligan! Do you start yelling at him and think that it’s just your luck that Gilligan’s there instead of the Professor? NO, you’re starving you grab Gilligan and drag him to the coconut tree.

If you’re now asking how they got the coconuts open you’re missing the point. Having Gilligan is a strength you presently have as opposed to having the Professor who, in that scenario, may be the strength you want. Yet Gilligan is the foundation that can lead you to the Professor. Without Gilligan there is little chance you will meet up with the Professor who, stays holed up in his hut doing experiments, even though with his help you have the best chance to get you off the island.

In any situation it is your present strengths that you have to work with; think of them as tools to move you in the direction you want to go. Acknowledging your strengths is necessary for self-love. If you cannot see the you that is really there then you are going to focus on the person you wish you were; or what you feel you are lacking. One cannot be self-loving and in a lack mentality at the same time – it’s impossible.

Know your strengths, use them and love yourself for them. They make you the unique being you are, who has your very own gifts to offer the world – that’s why you’re here.




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