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May 1, 2007, A Cry For Love

Have you ever wondered what someone's angry, irrational, or maybe distant behavior is about?

I bet you've wondered what you've done that is making the other person act in such a way. Let me make it easy for you.

It's a cry for love. Something has happened or been said to this person, possibly within the past five seconds of your conversation, that has them thinking thoughts that they are unloved or unlovable. Feeling this way they then react angrily, irrationally or just plain negatively.

When we experience this from someone else it's easy for us, especially when the emotion is anger, to just react to that person with our own negativity and get caught up in the emotional turmoil of the moment.

A better response would be to tell that person that we love or care about them, and ask them what they need from us in that moment.

We may get a reasonable answer or they may respond by pushing us away. If they are pushing us away it means that they aren't ready to accept being cared for. This is their stuff not ours, so please don't take it personally.

Maybe you remember a time when you were angry. Think back to it and recall how you were feeling and what you really wanted from the person you were angry at. Most likely you wanted to know that you were appreciated, loved, respected, etc. It’s not what they said or did, it’s what you believed that their statement or action meant the that you weren’t appreciated, loved, respected, etc.

Remember that all negative behavior is a cry for love and change the way you communicate with the person acting negatively; then watch your relationships flourish and how great you feel because of it.



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